Jokes

Status
Not open for further replies.
Professor Ratigan said:
SuperZambezi© said:
Professor Ratigan said:
Wolf: I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!
Pig: That's what she said.

That doesn't make sense...

...well, you gotta have a completely perverted mind to understand this "that's what she said" joke. If you do, and you still think this doesn't make sense, well... I fail. :p

I understand that's what she said jokes. This one just doesn't make sense lol. It's too much of a stretch to a BJ joke, if that's what you're getting at =P
 
*bump*

Oh, and the fact that you can make footprints in the fusking wood.
basil_454.jpg
 
I am the Big Shot.

You heard me right the first time. Name of bachelor Johnny Cool. Occupation: Big Shot. Occupation at the moment: just having fun. What a party that was - the drinks were loaded and so were the dolls.

I narrowed my eyes and poured a stiff Manhattan. Then I saw... Hotsie. What a dame. A big, bountiful babe in the region of 48-23-38. One hell of a region. She had the hottest lips since Hiroshima: I had to stand back for fear of being burned. Whiskey wow wow. I breathed. She was dressed as Biffo the Bear. In that kind of outfit she could get rolled at night... and I don't mean on a crap table.

"It's kind of revealing, isn't it? Revealing... it's positively risqué! I like it."
She said, "You're a man with a thousand Gs, right?"
"A thousand what?" I quipped.
"G-men, girls, guns, guts - you're my type."
"Wrong, baby!" I slapped her hard. "I'm a 'L' man: strictly liquor, love and laughs."

She stared over my shoulder: "Play it cool, Johnny." Play it what? I flipped. "Listen, I fought my way up from tough East Side New York. Lead-filled saps and sub-machine guns."

She said, "Johnny, this is a deadly game, have a few laughs and go home." I shuddered. Normally I pack a rod in pyjamas - I carry nothing but scars from Normandy beach. I said "Wrong, baby, you can't fool me." She spat playfully. "I'm ahead of you, Johnny." I studied the swell of her enormous boobs and said: "Baby, you're so far ahead it's beautiful."

"You, you are, you are eccentric, I like that."
"Electric cheri, bounce off my rocket, tout comprende?" We spoke French fluently. Our lips met again and again. "Yeah, yeah yeah" I slobbered. Hotsie said: "You're slobbering all over the seat, kid."

I went home late. Very late. What could I say to my wife? "Darling, I've been beaten up again." Let's face it - she's credulous as hell. A punk stopped me on the street, he said: "You got a light, mac?"

I said, "No, but I got a dark brown overcoat."
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top