Plot Twist!

PLOT TWIST: You are being experimented on by the government, who have been (for some strange reason) simulating an alternate reality in which you believe you have the ability to possess a toaster. You apparently don't know about the experiment, let alone are aware that you're living in said alternate reality in the first place.


The fabric of space-time continuum is slowly but steadily ripping apart as I give you a hamburger.