Here are two jokes that got emailed to me
$50 For the Homeless
I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she
grows up. She said she wanted to be president some day.
Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked
her, "If you were president what would be the first thing you would do?"
She replied, "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people."
Her parents beamed.
"Wow... what a worthy goal." I told her, "But you don't have to wait
until you're president to do that. You can come over to my house and mow
the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll
take you over to the grocery store where homeless guys hang out, and you
can give them the $50, you earned, to use toward food and a new house."
She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in
the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the
work,
and you can just pay him the $50?"
I said, "Welcome to the Republican Party."
Her parents still aren't speaking to me.
The Indian With One Testicle
There once was an Indian who had only one testicle and whose given name was 'Onestone'.
He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.
After years and years of torment, Onestone finally
cracked and said, 'If anyone calls me Onestone
again, I will kill them!'
The word got around and nobody called
him that any more.
Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird
forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.'
He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into
the forest where he made love to her all day and
all night. He made love to her all the next day,
until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.
The word got around that Onestone meant what
he promised he would do.
Years went by and no
one dared call him by his given name until a woman
named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being
away. Yellow Bird , who was Blue Bird's cousin, was
overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him
and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.'
Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest,
then he made love to her all day, made love to her all
night, made love to her all the next day, made love to
her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!
Why ???
OH, come on . take a guess !!!
Think about it !!!
You're going to love this !!!
Everyone knows...
You can't kill Two Birds
with OneStone !!!
