Ether's Classic Bullcrap

I'm going to show you all how much I sucked at writing when I was a kid.

Today's story is called "Superboy and the Perilous Fight of Control Freak", written in 2005 as the second in the short-lived series of books that I wanted to write. Expect some green baby shat from this.

Oh, and keep in mind that this is typed how the book was written, just to let you know. I'll probably try to find a way to scan the illustrations in the story (which are still intact) whenever I have the chance.


CHAPTER 1: The TV Screen

Control Freak was on John's TV in the den. John watched. Control Freak told John he will control television, and destroy John. John didn't know why Control Freak got inside the TV. So John decided a field trip in TV was educationable. So they went.

John and Julia spreaded out. So did the rest. Joseph saw Aang in Avatar: The Last Airbender. Joe ran, but Aang used his airbending skills to push Joe. John was in The Tony Danza Show and the host kicked John in the shin. In public.

Aang got doomed when Prince Suko stabbed Aang in the back with a knife. Tony Danza Show's ratings were lowing down because of the violence. Wow.

Control Freak wasn't found, yet. Haven was in The Simpsons in the Mr. Burns scene were Mr. Burns fires Homer Simpson. Fortunately, Haven kicked Mr. Burns, and Mr. Burns falls out a window. Julia went in Madeline where Madeline is stuck in the river Seine.

Julia saved Madeline, but Madeline's dog bit Julia. Mr. Burns shot a gun at Haven, but Haven blocked the shot with a mirror, and Mr. Burns dies. Let's see how Kelly, Antoinette, and Nicholas are going.

Kelly went in the My Little Pony movie. The ponies were at war! They were against the bums and hoboes. Kelly joined the war with the ponies. She loves ponies. Then, the ponies won the war with a human. Nicholas was in Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends, where Bloo gets a person stuck in a cell phone suit. Nicholas steals the body, and Bloo chases him. Antoinette was in Spongebob Squarepants, where Spongebob and Patrick are in the middle of nowhere. Antoinette shows that Patrick accuses Spongebob of stealing his candy bar.

CHAPTER 2: The Chase

Control Freak was found in MTV Hits. John, Julia, and the gang saw Control Freak's henchmen were attacking. John went to a place no one knows where. Superboy starts to fight Control Freak's henchmen during the song "Incomplete". He catches Control Freak in a elevator. Then, Darth Vader arrives at the scene using Force at Superboy.

Superboy coughed and choked at the same time, so Control Freak can go to the next show. So, Superboy's friends were chasing him. Finally, Superboy escaped from Darth Vader's clutches. Then, the lochness monster came and Superboy won. Superboy went to the show Blue's Clues. There, Control Freak is terrorizing the characters. Blue and Joe ran to the back door, but SYKO kidnapped Blue. Who will save the day? Turn to find out.

CHAPTER 3: Control Freak, You are a fool.

Superboy flew 8 pages and found Control Freak. Meanwhile, Superboy's friends beat up Control Freak's henchmen. Superboy and his friends were in the TV Guide. Nothing was on, except for Star Was: Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, and Dictator Week. "Guys," said Superboy. "We need to stop Control Freak in Star Wars, or Control Freak will rule television, and the entire Earth!" Everyone gasped.

Control Freak is trying to kill Luke Skywalker in Star Wars. So, he push Darth Vader into the wall, and falls off the Death Star. Luke suffers in the time. Superboy and his friends came to Catch Control Freak, and save the world. Luke ran away to escape. Superboy told Control Freak one lesson: "Your ruining everything. Just one thing, the good guys always win. So, you lose." Superboy locked Control Freak in a screen using Force. And Control Freak was sent to jail. Forever. Read the next pages.

Superboy turned back to normal as John. "How do we get out of here?" Kelly asked. John walked out of the TV. So do the rest. They went home to have fun.

CHAPTER 4: Tommorow:

John was going to school until... oh no! The shows are out of the TV! John didn't put them back, instead he lets them go in school. Aang was inside Joseph and Joseph was inside Aang. Well, everybody's favorite characters were inside their bodies. The rest hang with them. Mac walked next to John. And Bloo. And Nick. Wow. What a sight.

CHAPTER 5: Happily Ever After

John saved the world, and his friends, too. And TV was out into the real world. This came out as a huge end.



Wow, that sucked. XD Yeah, back in the past, I was autistic and unoriginal, so I had a perfectly good reason why I made sh*tty ass stories. But it's okay to reminiscence about the past. You know what they say, the future gets a little darker, but the past, even the grimy parts of it, keep on getting brighter.
This next story is weird. No seriously, it's weird. It's called "Weird Stories", and it's so weird. I think I wrote this also in 2005... or maybe 2004. I don't
know. Enjoy. Again, this is typed how the book was written. This isn't how I normally write now.


Liam and Jessie were going to school until Jessie turned into a butterfly. Jesse James hit her, but missed. This is a weird moment.

Jessie: I'm a butterfly
Liam: Oh my god. My sister is a butterfly.

Ali and Samuel were feeling their bones. Ali felt her backbone, and Samuel felt his ribs. While Ali felt her back, she thought if she was a turtle. That was weird. She thinks. But it's illegal to be a turtle. Really? No! But in class, yeah, it's illegal.

Samuel: Seal me, o ribs, color everything. Everything.

A dog mistakenly came into a lab where scientists turn humans into animals. The dog's DNA changed humanly. 3 minutes later, it was a man. In real Life, dogs cannot grow up to be men, they'll be dogs. This is weird, too.

Dog: Ruff, ruff!
Some weird entity that I don't even remember what it is: That would be an utlra brooze!
Dog after being turned into a man: That's weird. I'm a human.

Have anyone heard this? 3 kids named Brad, Julie, and tucker changed into talking animals. DNAs were formed into animal DNAs. Weird, right? Yeah. Pretty weird.

Brad: Call me a human bird.
Julie: I love ponies. I'm one, human pony!
Tucker: Yo. Being a tiger is weird. A human tiger is more weirder!

A boy turned into a cat. Get out of the life! Weirdest! All of these supernatural stories are weird! Everything you know is a lie! Ahhh! Lets end the story! The En- Mr. John.  But- but- but-. But nothing! You're in deten-

Boy: La la! Cat boy!

The End.

Ahhh! Help me! Ahhh!

A dog turned into a man. That's weird. A girl turned into a butterfly. That's weird. What's more weird? Find out.


What's weirder is the fact that I actually traced pictures from a picture book that explains why we can't be hybrids of animals or something like that. =P I wrote a piece of uninspired crap. That's weird. Did I mention that this was weird?