Stuff You Probably Didn't Know About Batman

Here's some stuff you probably don't know about Batman (unless you know everything about Batman)

Amadeus Arkham Got Put In Arkham
Amadeus Arkham has a weird story. His wife and daughter (I think) were murdered by serial killer named 'Mad Dog'. Amadeus Arkham of course was sad and mad (Is this turning into a Dr. Seuss poem?) so he demolished his mansion and built Arkham Asylum over it (because everyone does that when their wife and daughter die) and he wanted 'Mad Dog' in the immediately. Amadeus Arkham found a book of spells and wrote that spell thousands of time hoping it would kill 'Mad Dog'. 'Mad Dog' eventually made it in their and so did Amadeus Arkham (He was being housed in his own house?). In his cell he just scratched in the spell into his cell walls. Funnily enough Jeremiah Arkham, Amadeus' nephew took head of Arkham Asylum and turned insane as well. The Arkham family need to get their head in gear.

Alfred Pennyworth Is A Batman
Alfred Pennyworth is Bruce Wayne's butler who is a former agent (You didn't know that either did you?) so imagine Alfred wielding guns and all that stuff (How the hell did he go from that to a butler?). So Alfred is a butler to Bruce Wayne (or Batman however you look at it) but a technical name for a butler is, Batman! So Alfred Pennyworth is Batman's Batman. Bob Kane must've been kidding around when he was making Alfred.

The Joker Isn't A Villain
If you don't know who the Joker is then you must be living under a rock. The Joker is considered Batman's arch-nemesis. But does he really deserve that title? No. Does he even hurt Batman? Nope. If you've played any Batman Arkham games you probably know where I'm going with this. Joker and Batman. Are friends. Hell, their even best friends. Batman just doesn't know it yet. Sure, he might kill hundreds of people. But he does it to see Batman. He has no real friends. In Batman Arkham Asylum Joker says 'I've even got you here to keep a smile on my face'. Joker is Batman's friend. In Arkham City Joker even says Batman is his best friend. He has no real person in his life besides Batman (Harley is just his fun toy).

Bane's The Only Person Who Can Hurt Batman
If you've seen The Dark Knight Rises or know anything about Batman villains you'll know about Bane. Unfortunately in The Dark Knight Rises, Bane wasn't used to his full potential, but he couldn't be used to his full potential in his movies because Venom doesn't work their (Neither does Lazarus which is why
came instead of Ra's returning. But if you don't know anything about Batman comics. You won't know that Bane is actually one of Batman's worst villains. He's the only one who hurt Batman. FOR GODS SAKES HE BROKE BATMAN'S GOD DAMN BACK!! Yep. Bane broke Batman's back. Need proof will look no further then right below

Here's a video from Batman Arkham Asylum

Yes, very painful. But how com Batman still moving? Give him a while and he'll be fine. According to Knightfall.
Another round of Batman stuff, this time, movies!

Christopher Nolan Clearly Hates CGI
Computer-generated imagery, or CGI, is what directors use to make stuff you can't do in the real world, possible (Well Duh!). It's really helpful. You can make a futuristic city, a medieval kingdom or a plane crash. Wait, no, the last ones not right. If you remember Christopher Nolan's final Batman movie (doesn't seem like that anymore), The Dark Knight Rises, you'll (hopefully) remember the first scene.

When Bane and those other guys are in that plane, then their's a bunch of dialogue, and a airborne swing, and a plane takeover, then some more stuff, then they drop a plane! Exciting! Well your probably like. CGI obviously. Well your wrong. No CGI was used for that scene, not even the plane drop. So Christopher Nolan decided, 'Hey, let's actually drop the plane' so they did. Yes, they dropped a freaking plane in real life for a movie (even though no one would notice the difference). So either Nolan was bored and wanted to blow up a plane of he just had some left over money from The Dark Knight's success.

Christopher Nolan... Costume Deisgner. Isn't Creative
(Gee this guy again?) Well, again The Dark Knight Rises. The last thing in your mind is probably the costume, not really (probably what your going to eat 19 years later). Well costumes are a big part of movies (Duh!) You can't have Bruce Wayne wearing a Mario costume, he has to wear a Batman costume (Duh!). This being said you probably think Batman was cool!, Catwoman was hot! Bane was awesome!. Well your wrong about that (unless you said the opposite for Bane). Bane's costume was terrible. Would you like to know why? Well. That mask. The mask is terrible.

First of all how is that supposed to get Venom in him? (Well it can't because Venom doesn't fit in Nolan's Batman universe). Secondly, it looks like a part of the thing accidentally latched onto his face and got stuck and Bane cried until he had an idea to spray paint it black and that'll fix it! No. Thirdly. And this is the main thing. The costume designer obviously was lazy creating Bane's mask and pretty much copy and pasted the high security thug's mask from the 2009 video game, Batman Arkham Asylum (My favourite game to!) So the costume designer basically took a mask from an Arkham thug and gave it to Bane (after she adjusted it a little. Do you want to see this? Search 'Arkham Asylum high-security thugs' and 'Bane The Dark Knight Rises' and voila. You'll see a lazy person work

Batman And Robin Sucks
This is something you should already know but for those people that never saw the movie Batman And Robin. Don't. It is a pile of flaming poop and deserves to be in a trash can that got burnt to ashes sent to hell and completely erased. Cheers Joel Schumacher. Please go away from Batman, Forever (That wasn't an intended pun of him in Batman Forever)

That Cowl Is To Big For You, Mr Wayne
This ones actually kinda funny. The very first Batman movie created by Tim Burton (Not Christopher Nolan) in 1989 was a great movie with Batman, The Joker and all that stuff Gotham has to offer except for the first time. It was a live action (Yay! No drawn panels!). So if you know anything about Batman (which I hope you do) you'll know Batman drives his awesome, Batmobile! But in the 1989 film something went terribly wrong. They had fully created the Batmobile and Batman, Michael Keaton, finally got to sit in the Batmobile (Lucky, I wanna do that) but their was one problem. No he wasn't to fat. What the probably was. The ears of his cowl couldn't fit inside (You should get the measuring tape next time). Unfortunately, because the Batmobile was already so close to the ground, the seats couldn't be lowered. So instead they created a whole new Batmobile so he could fit. No, I'm joking. They just created a new cowl.