IggyKoopaStar's life diary

IggyKoopaStar's life diary

If you're here, I'm pretty sure it's because you're curious about me. So I decided to do a topic about my actual life that I will post around here if you ever want to know what happens to me. It might not be an everyday thing, but I decided I would be writing here about my things once in a while, and most likely quite huge texts, too. You're all free to post anytime you are curious about something, and I will answer the questions or concerns.

So, to start it all, I believe many of you have noticed I wasn't around a lot this year. Well, here's why. Back near the end of 2014, close to Christmas eve, I got heartbroken by a specific person which back then I thought as a good friend, however, it was way worse than expected. I never got so disrespected that I was really starting to be shocked! And I tried enduring it until one day, in March, where I said 'ENOUGH!', and then the depression have started due to the fact that I've been annoyed so hardly and so manipulated.

Grrr, believe me, guys, I will never forget what this person did to me. It's even worse than you can imagine. I won't say all details here because they are absolutely awful, but you know the drill.

Either way, I went to a depressive mood since then, the lack of motivation at school was terrible, too. Because I did my big return to school back in January. What I hated though is that most people tend to be against me and they keep taking me like garbage. I'm an human, too. And I know I need to be respected like everyone as well. Despite my little problems, I should have the best life possible and others should obviously help. So for the next months, what I did was to attempt analyzing what was going wrong. And what I did was simply to stay in bed and think, for multiple months in a row, how terrible I was to others, and I obviously ended up being against my own self, which isn't good.

So, now we're here, back in the forum, trying to isolate less, but believe me, guys, I'm still really affraid of others and I do not know how it will end up in the future. Though I try to be positive, but a lot of mistakes are happening here and there. I know there's some good people in this world, and I know I need to find them. I do know I found some in this specific forum, hence why I came back. So now, we're in another step, and I hope to be able to restore myself before when I will restart school on September 1st. Wish me luck, guys!
Hey, thanks a lot! Yeah, as you could see, I haven't got the life easy this year, even more when others are betraying me. But I do still have hope, though. To find new, caring friends which won't do the same and which will actually take me like a good person is all I want to make sure I won't be affraid to socialize anymore. Thanks a lot for caring, by the way!
If there's one thing I don't like about me, it's how I am way too perfectionist. I'm saying this because as of lately, I keep being worried about the smallest details around me. Heck, I'm worried about only things such as a little miscalculation or when I am doing a mistake which may be something like I mess up the actual first thing I've wanted to do or when my records are messed up too. I also hate to not write my things right.

I tried to calm down lately but at many cases, it is almost like if I would lose control. Due to the fact I cannot take any single mistake without being down like heck.

I became a different guy with how hard my life have been with others. Instead of trying to open myself,  I am actually scared of others. I try to come back the way I used to be but in a more limited way. As in, I will not let myself being manipulated again.

Can I tell you, guys, how hard it is to go through that? I am so worried about myself now and I fear like I might never come back the way I used to be, or at least, not before a really long time...

It all started because of some people I was considering friends, they were cool, but eventually, for some weird reason,  it is really different. Its like, I have been marked for most of my own life due to some people's stupidity and rejection.

What I want, of course? Friends. Caring friends. Friends which will see me like an human with feelings, and not a robot or some sort of uncaring people in my regard.

I want the best for my life, and guys, I hope I will be able to get it after all these years  passed. It's never easy to live with this daily to me... But some good friends from here might be helpful though.